A Spill Out

I was reading ‘What She Left’ when the idea of this post crossed my mind. A novel that tells the life story of Alice Salmon, a girl who was mysteriously found dead in a river in Southampton. I was on page 152, a dialogue between a reporter and Megan Parker -Alice’s best friend- when I decided to write this post because of something Megan has said. It was memories of them when they were small. Subsequently, that brought to my mind memories of me and friends when were small.
I stopped for a moment to think of the way we make friendships now and how it’s different than that of the past, when I was small. Then, I remembered how I met a one close friend of mine. I remembered meeting him in a mosque when I was in my 9th grade. One guy introduced him to me, and I don’t know, I felt that we’re going to be friends instantly. Ironically, that happened.
We started to meet daily and have long conversations. Talk about our lives and things around. Ask each other questions about certain matters and so on. I used to walk him home and he does the same. We used to spend most of our days together, just hanging around. Mostly, at his place on the roof. Yeah, I remember the roof! It witnessed many gatherings and barbecues with his friends who he introduced to me, and became close friends right away.
We were a big group of very close friends. To be honest, kids were very jealous of us because we were very happy together , hanging around all day long, and sometimes all night long. The sleepovers and the desperate trials to learn chess. The biscuits and the tea which I used to drink, my share and theirs. They used to find it hilarious, me drinking six cup of hot tea, because they can’t drink very hot beverages. Yeah, I remember we were once taking a private science class, because you know, we were a pact and we used to screw up in school as pact.However, we were at my friend’s taking the lesson. His mum brought us and the tutor some tea. I drank mine instantly, waiting them to drink theirs, but no one does! And I was like, I’m going to drink the damn tea instead of it getting cold and tasteless. And I drank the five other cups. They all saw me drinking it, except the tutor, and suddenly all of my friends burst into huge laughter leaving the tutor traumatized! He didn’t know what was happening and they couldn’t stop laughing, and I was stunned thinking of how much I’m screwed. Well, luckily the tutor didn’t ask about the reason of their action, except that he got really angry, announcing that he has never faced a situation like this one. And he sincerely hopes that it doesn’t happen again. Otherwise, he will not show up again. We were all silent, but inwardly, we were all suppressing our laughter.
I remember when we once wanted to pray, and I went to make Wudu. The best part that my friend’s father saw them and joined. And I came out of the bathroom in a hurry wanting to join them,too, but the ground was slippery and my feet were wet. So, use your imagination! Yes, I slid on my back and they all burst into laughter. Oh yeah, you know how best friends are! They laugh at your pain.
I also remember when took a cab home after spending the day on the seashore. The six of us piled up in one cab. I used to always make jokes in such situations and say “hands in your pockets assholes, lol.” Anyways, after we arrived, and after a long ride of jokes and goofing around with the cab driver, he turned his and told us: “What a nice group you guys make! I used to have one like the one you have now. Stay together always and never let this friendship slip out of your hands. Believe me, when you grow up, you will need it. You will know that this friendship is all what matters in life. It’s something precious and you should hold on to it, because it will get you through tough times.” We were stunned, because I felt that he said it sadly for something he only knows, but in the same time, he was happy for us. We responded we will, don’t worry, we will. But we didn’t.
I tried so many times to get that group together, the way we used to be once. At least to meet once a week! Now, I’m not exaggerating when I say months pass before we meet. And most of them coincidentally. I gave up trying to make it work by myself. Finally, I had to accept the current situation, and that things change. Life is different that we are older now. But some times I feel nostalgic to when we were small.
It’s hard now to make friendships the way you used to when you were small. The your-turn-to-walk-me-home and mine. The hang outs and all what I mentioned up there and a lot more. Now, it’s different. I guess all of you can relate. So, I’m not going to talk about how suck it is, because it makes me feel nauseated.
I guess we all agree that getting older sucks too.

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